Aug 19 2008
Hi there, it’s Karl from SecondHand Tryptophan. Today I bring you a video post, made especially for the Dutch Files. Bear with me, since I just quit smoking and am pretty much dreaming of kicking everyone in the testicles. Even the women.
Great Things About Sebring, FL from Karl Erikson on Vimeo.
If for some reason you can’t see the video here, then here is the direct link.
Aug 18 2008
All I’m going to say is that Nobody had to remind me that I was supposed to be posting here today and not tomorrow. And I don’t think, technically, I’m even late.
I mean - we’re on Dutch time, right?
(Wait. Does anyone know if that means I’m more or less late? Shit.)
ANYway, now that I’m here, I’m pulling out a post of mine from about two years ago. Because I am an awesome guest blogger like that. So. Without further adoodling…
Piss Poor Genetics. A Rerun.
I am amazed sometimes by what characteristics and traits can be passed down genetically.
Devin has developed some strange habit of going to bed in my bed at night. I have no idea why, and he claims to have no idea why, and when we put him back into his own bed before we go to bed - he sleeps just fine. (sorry, lots of ‘beds’ in that ridiculously long sentence.)
The major problem with this is that my son - though quite normal looking during the daytime hours - transforms into a sweating, drooling, slobbery beast when the sun goes down. I don’t like the idea of having to sleep in a wet spot. Especially if I didn’t get to have sex.
So… last night…
I tell Devin as he goes upstairs “be sure you go to sleep in YOUR bed”. Yep, uh huh, no problem. Two hours later I’m in the bathroom getting ready for bed myself and I hear my husband say “didn’t you tell Devin to go to his own bed?”
Damn it. Drool. Sweat puddles. I hope it was on my husband’s side this time.
“Yes, wake him up. Have him walk into his own room.”
Suddenly I hear screaching from Jared “WHAT are you doing? No! No! Go to the bathroom!”
Devin wanders into the bathroom, pants down, penis in hand - with a very dazed look on his face. He comes and stand next to me by the sink and aims himself at the window. He then proceeds to pee all over the blinds and floor, very calm, with little indication that this may be - well, a bit odd to say the least.
Devin! The toilet! The toilet!” I grab him by the shoulders and point him towards the toilet.
After a few more mishaps we finally got him into bed. His bed, for the record.
I looked at Jared as we came back into the bathroom to survey the damage.
“You’re cleaning that up” I told him.
“What? Why me?”
“Because he gets that from you. I have never in my life peed someplace other than a toilet - unless I was frogging it on purpose, which doesn’t count. Do you remember your little closet incident?”
“I was drunk. That doesn’t count.”
“Uh huh. Your genes. Your mess. You’re cleaning it up.”
As I drifted off to sleep, quite satisfied with myself for having found a way to finagle out of cleaning up urine, I remembered a similar incident with one of my brothers when he was about Devin’s age. So, I guess, in all fairness, he may have actually gotten it from both sides. Ah well, dad genes trump uncle genes in the Clean Up Pee department I’m sure.
I wonder if Inappropriate Urination is a recessive or dominant gene?
Aug 17 2008
It’s Robin here from The Road Less Unraveled and I’m here to fill in the gap of the guestbloggers this week. I am probably not as witty as Mr. Fab, offensive as Avitable but I come bearing information. See, I wasn’t sure what to write about our Dutch girl so I did an image search and learned a lot about her.
First I found this image:
I see she has her own ways of spending her free time. I had no idea she was a furry but whatever makes her happy.
Next I found this:
This girl certainly knows how to dress up and go out on the town. Watch out boys!
Lastly I found this:
She’s obviously very opinionated, maybe she should tone it down. I don’t think furries are supposed to be so aggressive 
Aug 16 2008
Brad Finn here. You know, I wouldn’t briefly come out of my fabulous retirement for very many bloggers, but when Dutchy asked, I didn’t even hesitate. After all, we go back a long ways, and we were once even kinda sorta engaged. And as her former bliance, I have some tidbits of information about Dutchy that I am willing to share with you. I don’t think she’ll mind, and if she does, well, she would have to travel a long way to stick one of those stilettos up my ass.
So there you go. I think we know Dutchy a little better now, don’t we? We feel closer to her, but not in such a way that could be construed as improper or illegal.
Tomorrow, Robin will be posting here. I was never engaged to her, but I would like to nail her husband. And I will. One day.
Ciao!
Aug 15 2008
Ummm. I’m not veddy good with WordPress. This is the first time I’ve evar used it.
OH. BTW: HELLO! I am Morgetron, a friend of DutchBitch’s.
I am here to tell you my story since she is gone and can’t control what I say or do here, I am taking advantage of it. Hee-hee. This will be a story of lunacy and a story of hope, which is pretty much how all of my stories roll out
This is the perfect time to jack Dutchie’s blog because I am just about to take a break from my own blog. Why? Is the natural question to follow such a public revelation and in my case the answer is simple: Mannequins and Dolls.
They are all in cahoots to bring me down.
Hunteria Mel Ringo The Third Marquis of the Castle of Hoobastinky
Hubbetron and HER
Don’t ask me why they are singling me out but it all started with this one (see above) who is trying to draw Hubbetron into her wicked web of seduction AND I’m afraid she’s succeeding. She sits on this couch that Hubbo and I like (it’s in an abandoned warehouse) and … and … and … the temptation is constant for him because we live there some times.
As you can see he likes to stick his big balding face next to her creamily complexioned fartface and I do not like that one little bit. I mean … ewwww! Mannequin germs. Her name, is … you probably already guessed this because IT’S SO FITTING (and because it’s in the caption) … Hunteria Mel Ringo The Third Marquis of the Castle of Hoobastinky. If you see her ladies, go the other way. She’s a man eater.
Anastasia
Then on shelves, in windows, under beds, are all of her flunkys. There’s Anastasia with her stupid green Southern Bell get-up. She’s not fooling anyone. Everyone know’s she’s from Chicago. Oh and Susie-Anna. That little floozie looks pretty hot, all tarted up in her two-bit boobie-dress, but I have her number. She doesn’t even have the sense to remove that price tag from her ankle. I mean, if you’re going to sell yourself, that’s your own business, but you don’t have to make it so obvious. KnowwhatImeanjellybean?
Susie-Anna
This is Chaz Brown and he’s perhaps one of the most frightening of all dolls. I find him everywhere. Sometimes he likes to just sit on the floor innocently, but most of the time I find him perching atop tall furniture, hiding under my pillow, and once, I even caught him peering at me in the shower!
Oh, and one other thing that you should know about Chaz is this: he has fangs. Big ones.
Chaz Brown
Margdalenia
Oops! How'd this one get in here?
My Worst Nightmare
Hope McIntyre
Female . Dutch 
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